Basic
Bitches
Because being basic is a lifestyle, and our four-legged queens are absolutely living for it. Pumpkin spice, yoga mats, and perfectly filtered selfies — they invented being iconic.
Did you know? The word 'bitch' has meant 'female dog' since the year 1000 AD. We're reclaiming it for the girlies.
"Live, Laugh, Bark"
What is a Basic Bitch?
In the dog world, a bitchis simply the correct term for a female dog. It's literally in the dictionary. Look it up. We'll wait.
And when she's basic? She loves the finer things: cozy sweaters, Instagram-worthy treats, losing her absolute mind over squirrels, and judging you for your life choices.
"It's not a phase, mom. It's who I am."
Basic Activities
Things our girls simply cannot live without (they will literally die)
Pumpkin Spice Season
OMG it's literally the best time of year. Can't even. Won't even. Bark bark bark.
* Has never actually tasted pumpkin spice
Downward Dog (Obviously)
Namaste in bed but also namaste at the studio. It's called balance, Susan.
* Invented the pose tbh
Brunch is a Personality
Avocado toast and mimosas. It's called self-care, look it up.
* Will wait 2 hours for a table
For the 'Gram
If you didn't post it, did it even happen? 47 takes minimum.
* Golden hour only
Retail Therapy
Treat yourself. You deserve it, queen. Also I need a new collar.
* Impulse bought 12 sweaters
Rappers Who REALLY Loved Their Female Dogs
These legendary artists weren't just rapping about female dogs metaphorically. They were literally dog owners. Probably. We didn't fact-check this.
Snoop Dogg
Actually a dog this whole time
"Ain't nuthin but a hound dog"
Album: Doggystyle (literally just photos of dogs)
Hit: Who Let The Dogs Out (answered: it was him)
Bow Wow
Lil Bow Wow
"I'm a dog, I'm a dog, I'm a dog"
Album: Beware of Dog (it's just barking)
Hit: Puppy Love ft. Every Female Dog Ever
DMX
Dog Man Xtreme
"WHERE MY DOGS AT?!"
Album: It's Dark and Heck is Hot
Hit: Ruff Ryders' Anthem (all dogs welcome)
Pitbull
Mr. Worldwide (Good Boy Edition)
"Dale! (means 'treat' in dog)"
Album: Global Warming of My Fur Coat
Hit: Timber (what I do to furniture)
*All rappers mentioned are actual dog enthusiasts in our imagination
"Where my dogs at?!" - Every rapper, asking about their actual pets
Celebrities Who Look Like Their Dogs
We're not saying these dogs are celebrities in disguise. But we're not NOT saying it either.
Duchess Fluffington
Looks like: The One With the Hair
"My hair is 100% natural. I wake up like this. After 2 hours of brushing."
Known for: Wind machine follows her everywhere
Princess Pompom
Looks like: That Pop Star
"I'm not bossy, I just know what I want. And what you want. For you."
Known for: Owns more pink items than Barbie
Lady Elegance
Looks like: International Model Vibes
"I don't walk, I glide. It's called presence, you wouldn't understand."
Known for: Has never made an ugly face in her life
Snowball Divine
Looks like: America's Sweetheart Type
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a treat jar, asking it to open."
Known for: That innocent look that gets her out of everything
Empress Noir
Looks like: Boss Lady Energy
"I don't have an attitude. I have a personality you can't handle."
Known for: Runs a Fortune 500 company (in her mind)
Countess Auburn
Looks like: Hollywood Royalty
"Red hair, don't care. Actually, I do care. It's my best feature."
Known for: That award-winning side profile
"Any resemblance to actual celebrities is purely intentional and hilarious."
"I'm not like other dogs. I'm a cool dog."
— Every Basic Bitch, to every other Basic Bitch, daily
Daily Dog-O-Scopes
What the stars (and squirrels) have in store for you
10K+
Basic Members
∞
Selfies Taken
47
Min. Photo Takes
100%
Good Girls